The Oddfellows is urging people to experience the phenomenon of ‘frenergy’ – friendship energy –by getting together to celebrate Friendship Month this September.
While you can’t beat meeting up with mates, a study[1] commissioned by the national friendly society, the Oddfellows, also found that you can get the same energy buzz from simply being around others and sharing a reality.
And with around 300 community-based social events, activities and online open days across the country being organised by the Oddfellows for Friendship Month, there is no better time to amp up your ‘frenergy’.
Friend of the Oddfellows, psychologist Dr Veronica Lamarche, explained: “The energy boost we feel from spending time with friends is due in part to our thoughts and experiences being validated and understood.
“Non-verbal cues like nodding in agreement or smiling to show you’re listening also contribute to ‘frenergy’ levels as they validate the person speaking.
“By taking part in conversations and being joyful you are building ‘frenergy’ among those around you. And it doesn’t have to be so obvious. Your presence alone brings ‘frenergy’ to the group because it contributes to a sense of shared connection.”
The research also found that while face-to-face get-togethers provide the biggest energy boost for those aged over 50 (63%), the same kind of emotional and psychological energy can also be derived from other experiences.
Two thirds (63%) of those involved in the study said they got the same kind of buzz from helping strangers. 59% said simply witnessing an act of kindness gave them a frenergy hit – the feeling of being connected to the scenario enough to send energy levels soaring.
Frenergy is something that we all give and receive. So it makes sense that attending group events with a shared focus, such as concerts or the theatre, also provides a frenergy surge for almost half of people (45%).
Jane Nelson, the Oddfellows CEO, said: “We know the uplifting energy of friendship is unique. Spending time with friends in person is an unbeatable feeling. But it’s reassuring to see our research confirm that ‘frenergy’ boosts can be found in lots of different ways. So, no matter what your life or friendship circle looks like, everyone is able to give and receive ‘frenergy’ in a way that works for them.”
Jane added: “That’s what makes the Oddfellows’ friendship groups so special. You can come along to have a chat and a laugh with new people, you can help and volunteer, or you can relax, listen in and just enjoy being part of the gang. No matter what you do – you are contributing to our collective give and take of ‘frenergy’!”
There are many ways to keep ‘frenergy’ levels topped up claims Dr Lamarche, explaining how it’s about finding something to suit you.
She said: “Everyone has different ‘frenergy’ needs. This naturally shifts depending on whether we’re feeling introverted or extroverted and what life stage we’re at.
“According to our research, 39% of people said they get an energy boost from watching TV and 46% from receiving a text. Whilst these ‘frenergy’ boosts are smaller than seeing friends in-person, it’s still worth seeking out a variety of different ‘frenergy’ hits.”
“We also found that almost half of respondents (46%) said they wanted to spend more time with friends, with 54% saying that a friend-date once or twice a week was best for them. Whether you’re a non-stop social butterfly or prefer the occasional coffee catch-up, it’s about understanding what’s right for your ‘frenergy’ needs.”
Jane Nelson added: “People’s lives and friendship circles can change dramatically in later life, so it’s best to build your social life around a variety of interactions. This will help to keep your spirits lifted and reduce the chance of being over-reliant on any one source of support.”
While the Oddfellows is a great place to gain and share ‘frenergy’, Dr Lamarche says it’s important to be aware of the flipside – the people who drain your energy rather than boost it.
According to the research, half of people have, or have had, friends who regularly drain their energy (50%). Of these, 58% said they took action to reduce the amount of time they spent with them and one in 10 (11%) admitted to skipping social events to avoid them.
Dr Larmache explains: “Frenergy ebbs and flows and can be zapped by the wrong kinds of interaction too. If you have draining friends – or ‘frenergy vampires’ – in your social circle, you’re likely to feel downbeat or lacklustre.
“Just as gardeners prune foliage to ensure their plants make the most of the energy they produce, respectful social pruning can help us keep our ‘frenergy’ levels high.”
The Oddfellows is a non-profit and mutual run by members, for members, and hosts around 700 in-person and online events each month to help amp up its members’ ‘frenergy’.
Today it has around 40,000 members based across 99 branches nationwide.
Each September, the Oddfellows welcomes new people to its Friendship Month events which include coffee mornings and quizzes, to days out and organised walks.
Jane Nelson concluded: “We’re proud that our Friendship Month events will spark the beginnings of wonderful friendships. Introverted or extroverted, we all have something to offer, so we hope you can join us this September and be part of our nationwide ‘frenergy’ exchange!”
You can find your nearest Oddfellows friendship group by using their Branch Finder, or use the Events Finder to search for social events and activities happening near to where you live or online. It also runs monthly open days on Zoom.
To learn more about the Oddfellows and to receive a free information pack and events diary, call 0800 028 1810, email enquiries@oddfellows.co.uk or go to www.friendshipmonth.com.
[1] The Oddfellows commissioned Opinium to conduct a survey of 2,000 UK adults aged 50+, weighted to be nationally representative, between 17th and 23rd July 2024.